The worst part of my day is seeing my mother.
I haven't seen her in person since 2009, but she pops up on my Facebook news feed every few days. The posts are courtesy of our mutual online acquaintances.
My mother and I are not Facebook friends, but she continues to haunt (maybe that's not the right word, I don't believe in ghosts) my online life.
I've spent the bulk of my adult life thus far vowing to not make the same choices she did. That's why, this week, I took the first step in planning for my death.
I don't have a will, or any burial instructions (or, at this point, preferences), but if all goes according to plan, I will disappear from my friends' social news feeds whenever a loved one tells Facebook I'm gone.
It felt morbid to change the setting -- I'm 26, healthy, and I don't like thinking about what happens in that moment before death -- but it also felt completely necessary.
I'm not alone in my feelings -- Facebook made the change at the request of users like me, who might be uncomfortable seeing their loved one after they're gone. I think it violates a sense of closure. I haven't experienced a lot of death, but I've seen many times what it can do to your senses to see someone you thought you'd never see again. It's jarring.
My friend Amber told me I should reconsider having my page deleted, but I think we both gained a little more insight when I told her it's upsetting, and when she said seeing a reminder of someone who's gone can be a happy memorial. Everyone processes differently.